Quite often people who live with a great alcoholic spend much if, not all, of their time looking after the drinker. They worry about when he will arrive home, regardless if he will arrive home. That they worry about what condition he’s going to be in when he shows up home, whether he will wear a good mood or spoiling for a fight.
It is a think about that anyone living with an alcoholic has time to complete anything else, other than see to the drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone exactly who lives with an alcohol addiction needs to detach. That is they must stand back from the intoxicating and let him lead his own life.
One thing that may help is to ensure that you have a life of your own. Several people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been cover for your alcoholic and making sure that the world does not know with the problems. This wall in secrecy is a double edged sword.
It is time to improve that situation. It is the perfect time to, not only accept invitations, nevertheless also to issue a few for yourself. It is time to end hiding away and to end being secretive about the problems that you are facing. It is time for you to stop living in the darkness of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.
Imagine worrying about him much less, stopping clearing up after her and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the outcomes of his drinking. Agreed this is not an easy thing to do, especially if you have been caught up in his drinking for some quite a few years.
Lastly it will reduce the fear of being left on your own if the relationship finally becomes unsustainable. So if you live with an alcoholic make sure that you have a very good life for yourself and that you have a network of friends and family that can support you at any given time.
Your self esteem will boost and your depression and worry levels will decrease. Having interests outside the home plus the alcoholic will make you much more interesting and will reduce your amounts of resentment. It will help you to produce a support network that could maintain you when things are actually difficult.
You will find real benefits to having the own life. If you give attention to something other than your alcohol addiction means then you will dedicate less time worrying about him and his behaviour. Research suggests that being left to fend for himself can bring the reality of your partner’s problem home to her.
Most people who live by means of an alcoholic find themselves the loss of touch with their friends. It does not usually happen quickly, instead it happens over time whenever you refuse first one invite, then another. Soon there is no invitations to turn down any more.
On the one side it protects you in the shame and stigma for the problem drinking behaviour. The idea hides the worst with the anguish, arguments and fear but it also cuts you aloof from the very people that can help, your friends.
There may be something that you have got always wanted to do, for instance you may have wanted to learn more about using computers, or learn about picture taking or learn to paint. These are definitely things that you can do for you.